5 Tips That Might Help You Overcome Your Past Abuse

 May I recommend cats? They're fluffy, fuzzy, meow-y comforts whenever you're feeling blue.

May I recommend cats? They're fluffy, fuzzy, meow-y comforts whenever you're feeling blue.

If you're like most women, you've suffered substantial emotional, physical, and/or sexual abuse.

It sucks. It ruins your self-esteem and confidence. But with the right support system, recovery is possible! 

If you are still suffering in an abusive relationship, get help NOW at The Hotline or RAINN

If you've recently been free from any sort of abusive relationship or traumatic situation, here are 5 tips on how to transition into your new, sometimes-scary life:

1 ) Cut Out Toxic People. 
I spoke briefly about this in my last post. If someone isn't treating you with the respect you know you deserve, don't hesitate to cut them out. You don't need to bend over backwards to have A Big Talk or Try To Work It Out with everyone. Some people, yes, a healthy talk about boundaries is necessary and fruitful and can save a friendship or relationship. But trust your intuition. That ish doesn't work with everyone. If someone is sucking up way more energy from you than you can afford to give, you have permission to cut. them. out. 

In the words of New York Times best-selling author/ friend of Oprah Iyanla Vanzant, "Sometimes you gotta meet people where they are. And sometimes, you gotta leave them there."

2) Learn Your Triggers. 
If you're like me, you probably will learn them the hard way. Some of my personal triggers are: dangerous driving and loud voices. You don't need to AVOID all your triggers, because let's be honest: avoiding loud voices and dangerous driving is near impossible in DC and corporate America. But AWARENESS is the first step. That way you can self-soothe as needed. 

3) GO TO SLEEP.
Bethany Frankel said it best. If you're feeling crazy, you might just need to go to to sleep. Check in with yo'self and your body on the regular! Adequate, quality sleep, proper nutrition, regular exercise and a strong meditation and yoga practice are fundamental building blocks toward a successful life, no matter what your upbringing was or what your story is today. 

4) Phone a Friend. 
I know at least 5 friends off the top of my head that have bipolar disorder or another mental illness. You're not alone. Send a text. Write an email. Be honest with the and yourself. It's ok to not be perfect all the time!

5) Remember You Are Safe.
What will help you feel safe enough to relax and turn off your flight or flight mechanism in your body? Do that, often! Some of my favorites are: long baths, quick walks, Yoga Nidra, reading a book, or playing with my cat. Doing one joyful activity every day can help promote feelings of wellness within you and will make you feel calm and content. 

What helps you cope with trauma?