The great thing about the #MeToo movement is that it is creating a dialogue about the abuse women face every single day.
Everyone has their stories. I think it's most important to keep this quote by Jackson Katz in mind.
So in the spirit of sharing, here's a brief list of my history of sexual assault (this doesn't include straight up physical assault) (this is just a brain dump... might go back and add to it later in case any repressed memories come poppin' up)
-8th grade post-play party, my "boyfriend" came up to me, said that someone bet he wouldn't do it, honked my boob and ran away. #classy
-another 8th grade post-play party: found out years later that the changing room we all changed into our swimsuits in had a camera in it. they found years of footage of underage girls and boys. I believe they settled out of court because he was a founder of AOL.
- 9th grade algebra class, I asked xxx for his homework to copy off of. We started writing notes back and forth, then he tells me to look down and he flashes his penis at me by lifting up his basketball shorts... I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want to get in trouble for not doing my homework.
-9th grade algebra class adjunct teacher (younger guy) got my phone number and we sent each other flirty texts before my dad found out and... lord knows, I don't even know what happened to that man after that.
-junior year of college, kinda sorta crushing on a guy. it was kinda sorta hinted to him I would be interested. we go bar hopping and he gets me very drunk, buys me a ton of drinks all night. I remember him literally tipping my drink into my mouth because I wasn't drinking fast enough. go back to my friends place, start making out. then he tried to put his hands down my pants and I say no but he keeps doing it, gets ontop of me. I keep fighting. happens for a few more minutes before my friend's boyfriend comes into the room and kicks his ass to the curb.
-senior year of college, knew and trusted a friend that everyone absolutely loves. he didn't FORCE me to sleep with him, physically. it was more of an emotional manipulation -- if I don't sleep with him -- I'm out of his friend group -- out of his cool kid life. so after heavy persuading, I turned my brain off and did. then he never spoke to me again.
- 2015, a guy "falls" on the metro and grabs onto my boobs to steady himself. #YoureWelcome
-2 weekends ago, a 12 year old boy was behind me on the escalator and kept "bumping into" my ass with his hand. The first time, ok whatever. the second time, I turned around and said "OK THEN REALLY???" and stared down his family who was watching yet not disciplining him. I should've bitched him out or spoken to his parents. but I was tired and I just wanted to go home.
2 of the guys I trusted, a lot. 3 others I was "friends" with. 2 others were randos.
not counted: countless times I have witnessed or overheard assault and said nothing. countless times I have been grinded up on at the club despite pushing them away, before given up. countless times I've been undressed with me eyes by older men from as young as 11 (or whenever I got boobs)
What if everyone said the name of their perpetrators?
I could say mine.... but to be honest I don't want to "start something." I just want to put it behind me and move on.
I'm not writing this for pity, I don't need anyones pity. I'm just writing it to say, #MeToo. And, YOU'RE WELCOME for not saying your names, assholes. I wish you all the best.