What's Wrong with Star Wars is What's Wrong With America

 Yoda meme: Move forward, we must. #Om101 Offended Millennial

This weekend I finally saw the new Star Wars. Here are my thoughts:

1. Sequels and Prequels and Redux Must Die

The first 3 original Star Wars movies were witty, clever, heart-warming, action-packed gold. But America needs to stop obsessing over the past. The new Gilmore Girls isn't funny, the new Roseanne didn't exactly pan out so hot, and the new Full House is just sad (can confirm, I watched the whole first season.)

Similarly, the new Star Wars is just an obvious ploy to cash in on America's obsession with reminiscing and the Golden Years of Harrison Ford. Let's follow Oprah's advice and LOOK AHEAD IN A NEW DIRECTION, to stories that HAVEN'T been told! 

2. If It's All Action-Packed, None of It's Action-Packed

Warning: old lady rumblings about the normalization of gun violence and desensitization to chaos ahead:

In the same vein as all other Star Wars movies, the entire musical score and action scenes are epic, thrilling, exciting..... which is kind of the problem. There were very few soft parts in this movie which would have elevated the actual action scenes. 

3. There's a toy! There's a toy! Hey, there's another toy!

The world-building has become less about what is actually enhancing the plot (See: iconic Princess Leia and Jabba the Hutt scene here) and more about what will sell as toys. (See: the porg.)

4. Disney's attempts at being woke are just painful

I definitely have to give Disney credit in that they are committed to casting a racially and gender-based diverse crew. However, for every Donald Glover and Thandie Newton they cast, they also seem to create a questionable-at-best new creature, like the Jewish-seeming Rio Durant and L3-37, whose characteristics mimic Jar Jar Binks...which becomes even more problematic when you enter in her storyline of "droid rights" that seems to be the punchline of the movie. 

5. I'm sick of Woody Harrelson popping up into every single movie, ever. 

There, I said it. Someone had to. 

I'm not against Star Wars on the whole. As I said, I really like the first 3 originals. And I'm not against ALL re-do's on the whole. I'm practically OBSESSED with Planet of the Apes! What I am against is the American people's complicit obsession with Disney, complicit obsession with The Movie Industry At Large (which is 90% Superhero, 5% women-led redo's, and 5% quality film), and complicit acceptance of the bastardization of a quality trio of movies whose message is, in my opinion, to be an INDIVIDUAL, to STAND UP to those who oppress you, and to think critically. 

#EndRant